The Conversation Framework · PRACTICE

Conversation Compass

A tool from The Conversation Framework methodology.

Most communication models teach you what to say. The Conversation Compass helps you understand how your communication patterns work. Start at the center — with the moment that stayed with you after the conversation — and move outward, one layer at a time. Your goal is not to find the right answer, but to discover the starting point of your communication pattern.

The eight steps of Conversation Compass

  1. What happened?

    Only facts. No interpretation.

    • They interrupted me twice.
    • They replied after three days.
    • They said "Let's move on."

  2. What story did I immediately tell myself?

    • They don't respect me.
    • They're avoiding me.
    • They think I'm incompetent.
    • They don't care.

    This is where your communication patterns reveal themselves.

  3. What emotions appeared?

    Not "I'm frustrated because…" Instead Simply name them.

    • irritated
    • anxious
    • disappointed
    • ashamed
    • confused

  4. What happened in my body?

    • shoulders tensed
    • breathing changed
    • started talking faster
    • wanted to leave
    • couldn't think clearly

  5. How did I react?

    Not "What should I have done?" Instead "What did I actually do?"

    • defended myself
    • went silent
    • over-explained
    • joked
    • attacked
    • changed the subject

  6. What assumptions was I operating from?

    • Good colleagues reply quickly.
    • Good leaders always know the answer.
    • Feedback should be gentle.
    • Loved ones should understand without words.
    • If they cared, they'd know what I need.
    • Respect means…

  7. What might have been true for the other person?

    Not "What was true?" Instead "What else could explain this?"

    This is the door to curiosity and potential insights.

  8. What would I like to try differently next time?

    One small experiment — not “become a better communicator.”

    • wait five seconds
    • ask one more question
    • check my assumptions
    • notice my breathing

The Thinking Behind This Tool

Most communication models help you prepare for a conversation. Conversation Compass helps you understand a conversation that has already happened.

Rather than offering ready-made phrases or universal solutions, it helps you recognize communication patterns that usually remain invisible.

Continue the Exploration

Conversation Compass is just one of the tools within The Conversation Framework.

Use it, share it, and return to it whenever you want to better understand—and gradually reshape—your communication patterns.

If you'd like to explore them more deeply together, I'd be delighted to welcome you to an introductory session.

Book a first session Back to homepage

THE CONVERSATION FRAMEWORK
Lena Huppertz · lena.huppertz.me